The Day of Steve

Last Sunday was one of the most oddly surreal days of my life. It all revolved around the name Steve. 

We all know a Steve or two in our life. We probably know a Steven or a Stephan as well. In fact, I know some people with the surname Stephens. These are all good people that keep to themselves. The Steves of the World tend to generally be unassuming, genuine, law abiding and contributing pillars of society.

Think about it, do you know any bad egg Steves? Didn't think so.

However, something went wrong in the land of Steve last Sunday. Maybe it was the cusp of the full moon and all the werewolf Steves were coming out. Could it be years of oppression and normalcy for the Steves and they united to conspire against my normal day.

Steve Interaction 1. On airplane from Denver to Oakland. I sit down in the last seat on the flight and get placed next to Steve. Steve is huge and seemingly ate the armrest with his forearm. Steve snores, on an afternoon flight. I see his name on his ticket and swear under my breath.

Steve Interaction 2. In Taxi from apartment to friends house.  Taxi Driver introduces himself as Steve. Why would a taxi driver every introduce himself. Weird.

Steve Interaction 3. At Decompression Party in San Francisco and guy comes up to me and pulls off my cowboy hat and says, "hey, I've been looking for you." I reply, "have you?" He says, "oh, yeah, guess that isn't you and that's NOT my hat. "  Anyway, that is how you start talking to someone sometimes and we get to gabbing and he introduces his name as Bear. I say my name is Jeff and then he replies that his earth name is Steve.   

Things are starting to get weird.

Steve Interaction 4. At Mighty for DJ Dan Show. A guy in a purply fur hat and a purple leopard jacket comes up and sits down next to me at a table while I'm trying to enjoy a G&T. His introductory line, "want to go to the worlds greatest party?" His second question, "want to know about the elixir of youth I invented?" His third topic, "did you know I'm a Watsu?"  

This was the most bizarre person of the day. How would I know he's a Watsu? Secondly, why did he need to tell ME about how he's regained 20 years of life from drinking his special potion? This guy was strange. This guy was also named Steve, as I found out upon ejecting myself from the conversation. 

Steve Interaction 5. At Mightly, 3:45AM leaving show. Guy comes up to me in the parking lot and asks me if I think he should drive home. I ask him where his car is and he replies, "Parked right in front of those cops over there." I ask him if he's sober and he replies, "do I look sober?" I say no. He says, "we'll, I'm not." He asks, "do you think the cops would think I'm sober?" I retort, "hey man, If I can tell your not sober, I'm pretty sure the cops can tell your not sober."

I tell him I've got to go, introduce myself as Jeff and he shakes my hand and says "Steve."

I look around for a moment. Look at the people I'm with who remember the last person's name. A friend says, "wasn't that last guy named Steve, too?" 

I look over and say, "you have no idea what Steve has put me through today."

Fred Willard Eats Cheese

There I was at Whole Foods earlier today. Minding my own business. In fact, I was literally going about some work business, when I was gently tapped across the right shoulder by a man holding a rolled up newspaper.

"Do you know where the CHEEESSEE is?"

That is what Fred Willard asked me today.

What made him think I was the one to ask? Did he not see the 20+ people or so wearing forest green Whole Foods aprons meandering throughout the aisles? How did he pick me over the dread locked, goatee donning, long sleeve tie-dye shirt wearing employee in which I was having a conversation?

Ira was the one with the Green Apron and name tag. I had on a polo shirt, sunglasses on my head and was chewing on a toothpick.

Yet he still picked me.

Best part about it, I DID know where the cheese was and had just been there. Thats where I got the toothpick, from the gouda sample squares three aisles over. Could Fred Willard really be that astute. Maybe. He did come up with the blind prostitute joke impromptu.

"The cheese is located three aisles down, near the produce."

That was my best effort. My one opportunity to impress one of the world's foremost improv comedians of Christopher Guest movie fame. One of my favorite actors. The guy stars in my second favorite comedy of all time and I left the conversation thinking to myself, "Whaaa Haappened....??!?!!"

BYOBW 2008 - Adults Riding Kids Toys = Awesome

It has been said that, among other things, San Francisco is know for its unique and extravagant events, happenings and gatherings. 

Its OK to tie yourself and four of your friends to a shopping cart carrying a keg and run (fall) down the streets of North Beach in the Urban Iditarod. In San Francisco it is also cool, if it is your thing, to suck the cock of your buddy who is wearing nothing but a garter belt and ass-less chaps at high noon during the Dorey "Up Your Alley" Street Fair. 

If it strikes your fancy, its more than encouraged to go on a 16 hour E tab induced dance-a-thon trance session down Market street and in front of City Hall during the Love Parade in October. 

If you are the type of person that likes beer at 6:00AM on a Sunday Morning, the city shuts down the better half SF proper for you to "run" through downtown with 100,000+ of your friends in costume during Bay to Breakers. 

The list goes on and on, but the best and more pure showcase of fun and community may just be at the annual Bring Your Own Big Wheel (BYOBW) race.

The premise is really quite simple. You show up with an old Big Wheel, the classic red one with yellow tire works, or really any variation thereof is acceptable.  As everything in town, you dress up in some sort of Bizzaro (read: throw some shit together at the last minute) attire or garb. You bring some friends and a beer or two and get in line at the top of a ridiculously steep, windy and treacherous hill. Then you push off and careen toward the finish amid the cheers of the estimated 8,000 spectators and the ohs and ahs when that second turn sends you flailing into the guy that getting too close to the action. 

The race this year was moved from Lombard Street (you know, the picturesque, manicured shrub lined tourist trap) to the more precarious and even more curvy Vermont street hill in the Portrero (middle of nowhere) district. New location, but more people. The best part about this event, besides reliving my glory days on Bennington Drive when I'd race Eli Zackheim to defeat on a daily basis, was the fact that is truly was a family and community orientated event. 

People were behaved and in control. Everyone was smiling and in jovial disposition. Families brought their kids and parents raced along side their sons and daughters next to that hipster doofus from the Mission and that ad exec from the Marina.

All in all a spectacle to behold and embrace. And a second place finish in heat #2 by your's truly. Check out the video montage that some guy w/ too much time on his hands put together.

Hottest Party of the Year

I've been wanting to host an Oven Party since midway through college. Last weekend my dream finally became my reality.

We canvased our North Beach apartment entirely in aluminum foil. Walls ,ceiling, floors, and everything in between. We replaced everyday light bulbs with calescent red ones. We added a vaporous fog machine (which periodically triggered the smoke alarm and the line "the oven is overheating"). People freak out, then get the joke 5 minutes later. Throw in a strobe light for good measure and we're good to go - in a virtual Oven.

Wasteful: unfortunately quite. 100% Awesome: absolutely.

4,500 sq. ft ($200+ of foil), 500m of tape, 8 packs of putty, one keg, 300 bottles of beer and 8 people laboriously setting up for 8 hours and we're good to go.

This is the point in the post where I write about what people had to say about the event. Suffice to say, "Best House Party Ever," "Epic" and "You guys are out of your fucking minds," pretty much covers it.

Unfortunately, now the house party high bar is set at Olympic height and we're racking our brains for a way to equal or best the cooker carousing.

Theme recommendations are welcome and will be taken into consideration for our next hullabaloo in May.

Vampire Weekend: Amoeba record store 2/1

If you listen to black metal Vampire Music like Cradle of Filth, then these four Upper West Side Columbia Grads, Vampire Weekend, are not for you. Further, if you really do listen to black metal, this is probably not the right blog for you. Instead, we suggest: Vampire Hunters Union.

However, if you like indie pop rock and being on the forefront of what's happening, then you'll definately enjoy the music of Vampire Weekend.  

Last night I trudged through the rain and navigated the gauntlet of street kids, neo-hippies and crackheads to arrive at the long-standing San Francisco music store Amoeba on Upper Haight for a gratis show. 

They played a simple and clever set of 7 songs that dipped into their new wave and African sound, blasting out over the CD racks.   The crowd was about 400 eager listeners who had read one or all of the bazillion positive reviews of the self-titled debut album in the blogosphere during the last few months. 

They band quickly showed off their talent, playing poppy, catchy and short songs that are easily and earnestly likable.  Although fun, most will wear thin after a few times through the album.  Don't tell that to the dreadlocked co-ed who wouldn't stop dancing or the 40-year old virgin holding up the phone for his buddy during the final song. 

More than one occasion (4 times) I overhead someone in the store referencing their sound as similar to the Paul Simon album Graceland. Not bad company. 

On a side note, if you own a woven scarf, v-neck cardigan and skinny jeans, then this is your band. If you have even just one of the before mentioned, then you'll probably like them too. If you love that Paul Simon album then you are sure to enjoy Vampire Weekend. 

Newly famous as the "blog band" de jour of 2008, VW will probably rise from the Ivy League to the forefront of music this year.   A combination of internet hype and endless touring (The so called Arctic Monkeys and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah model) VW appears prepped to reap the benefits of the new wave of music marketing.  No longer undercover, (and demonstrating sign #13 that you have "made it") last night they performed crowd favorite ditty A-Punk, on Letterman. 

Vampire Weekend could end up being just another solid indie rock quartet that lingers for the next decade and spawns uncountable and less enjoyable side projects. Or they'll be the next big thing. One positive indicator for future musical growth is the quirky, preppy New Yorkers signed with XL recordings, home of QLE favorites and boundary pushers Radiohead, Sigur Ros, M.I.A. and Ratatat. 

What's the Best Super Bowl Half time Show Ever?

What would the Super Bowl be without a quick re-visiting of some recent halftime shows (debacles?). Check the right side of the main page and cast your vote for the biggest spectacle in recent years.

Sir Mick Jagger's skeleton comes out in painted on jeans and a baby tee. Proceeds to scare children worldwide and demonstrate the effects of aging on the human body.








The confirmation no one needed: Prince is, in fact, a transvestite who wears VERY high heels and plays a guitar that vaguely resembles and IUD.








Two simple words: wardrobe malfunction. JT (the guy your girlfriend is now in love with) exposes the boob of Janet Jackson (the girl you used to be in love with). How emasculating and thrilling at the same time.

Music Fodder for you...

So Coachella is just around the corner (I think the vacation counter on Meeps' desktop says something like 95 days...), and they just released this year's set list. Say what you will about the lineup, but admit it, you wish you knew who all those bands were. You would really like to drop the band name "Kid Sister w/ A Track" into casual conversation with someone good looking of the opposite sex. So, get yourself some cred. Head over to the Coachella site and scroll down. There you will find the Myspace links to every band playing at the show. Hey, even if you're not looking to drop some extensive musical knowledge, you can at least have some good tunes while you're sitting there at work.