Dear ESPN.com

Please stop with the automatically loading video that plays when I go to ESPN.com. First of all, I'm literate. That's why I subscribe to your magazine and visit your website 263 times per day. I want to read the content. If I want video, I will go to one of the 5 ultra convenient ESPN family of TV channels.

Secondly, I would estimate 82% of your sites visitors are at work while visiting. Does auto loading video blasting out sports commentary really seem like the best way to sneakily waste time? Why don't you just have an arrow and a sign pop up out of my computer that says TIME WASTER and points to me for everyone in the office to see. This is both rude and thoughtless. Great, you captured the ability to post video on your website. Can't we just have it load on "PAUSE" so I can choose to watch it or not?

PS - If you must show video, please stop showing John Clayton's face. His voice and obnoxious opinions are enough, but when his elfish, bespectacled face pops up on the obnoxious video player it's almost too much for me to handle.

Some skin for your mornin'

This week Sarah Palin, the GOP Veep candidate has been taking advantage of the UN General Assembly in NYC to brush up on her foreign policy credentials. Much like a few former Presidents (Reagan, Clinton, Bush) who came from roles as Governor, she has taken the opportunity to hone her chops ahead of important debates and as the election nears (she's only had her Passport since 2007).

She has met with a variety of world leaders, including a handful from the Middle East, for obvious reasons. She's taking a bit of a different approach, the sexy approach...


Meeting with the President of a Muslim nation and there she is, showing off those beauty queen legs! Now, it's all a matter of standards, and Karzai certainly isn't demanding she wear a burka, but seriously, that seems a little racy! That would be kind of like walking into a job interview wearing shorts instead of a suit. No, a suit isn't required, but it certainly does send a message.

And apparently Palin's message is being received, loud and clear by these heads of state. According to one blogger - "Pakistan's president tells Palin she's 'gorgeous' and 'Hotter Than the Kalahari in July." Although clearly that's winner for the headline of the day, the actual wording is a bit more subtle, but equally as outrageous. According to CNN.com, Zardari and his entourage made numerous comments about the Veep candidate's looks and Zardari even mentioned that instead of the long handshake for photographers he'd be willing to hug. Nice.

Dating Advice

The QLE does our best to keep you up to date on etiquette and general advice to avoid life's social foibles. With school getting back in session and lots of fresh faces out there for all the young people, a bit of dating advice might be in order.

We'll start with Mike Leach, coach of the Texas Tech Red Raiders. We've had to paraphrase in places...

1. Take her to a steak house because it's informal and there's not a lot of salad on the menu. Then she'll have to eat in front of you, which she (she being all women) hates, and as far as making women do things they don't want, the earlier the better.

2. After the movies, be sure to end at some "cool coffee shop ... where there's bizarre looking characters going in and out." That way if conversation flags you can just make fun of freaks!

3. If things go well (after making her do things she doesn't want to and making fun of weirdos), then you can "Trade computer schemes and emails and all that mischief that people are up to on that nowadays which I know nothing about."

Boom, in a nutshell, the ingredients for a successful relationship, or a Presidential campaign.

Slow Tuesday?

This one popped up in the "breaking news" section of our local paper's online site. Local liberal with a love of lawn signs (and gnomes, tackily enough) had a couple of her Obama/Biden '08 signs stolen from her yard. If you'll recall, the Obama fundraiser machine is charging for signs this year. With the economic times such as they are, she decided to set up a webcam to protect her investment (although the latest sign is handmade, which could also explain the lack of theft). Turns out, the idea is wildly popular as the "channel" the video is streaming on shot near the top of the views chart quickly and apparently has a huge following. Since I know you don't want to be the only one missing out...

She Blogs She Blogs

Over the past few months I've come to grips with the fact that I'm a "blogger." At first I think it bore a sort of stigma, and I'm still a little embarrassed when revealing it to people for the first time. It's like a guilty pleasure. It's also my room mate's favorite comeback for this move, usually used when I've had a couple drinks and find the conversation has slowed.

Me: Hey (person who is most likely to make a big deal about the factoid I'm about to unload), did you know my friend Nick is the lead singer in a Band?

Them: Really? That's sooo cool! What kind of band?

Me: A rock band.

Nick: Fuck you. Did you know B has a blog?

I digress. One of the things that being a blogger entails is reading other blogs. I read my friend's blogs, I read sports blogs and I will occasionally peruse my way through the 6 degrees of blog separation. Think Myspace/Facebook stalking but with blogs. Here's Lizzie's blog, she reads these blogs. Whose blogs do they read, etc. etc.

A couple different times I have found myself stuck in the descending spiral of the "chick blog." I can't think of a better term for these saucy, salty self-publishers. They have that spice girl/girl power/I've got attitude and I'm funny, irreverent and sarcastic and KNOW IT. They all seem to drink wine, I think it's a code word or something. They also are overflowing with overshare. Pooping, peeing, infections, fat jokes, sex anecdotes, pooping, and insanely embarrassing stories are all par for the course:


The CLEAR winner on this one belongs to a blog spiral that went like this:
Rob Mosely Oregon Ducks Blog>Tales from LaLa Land (a mix of interviews with ex UO players, bad words and chick blogging)>Musings of a Barefoot Foodie. I am still not sure how I got there but all of a sudden I found myself [side note - I was actually reprimanded by Jenna on Saturday night that this was almost too gross to point people to. So, again, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK...] reading this post. Prepare yourself because even I found the punchline quite shocking. Anyway, there's plenty more where that come from.

These blogs are generally quite amusing, which explains how I've gotten sucked in.
I am split on whether I want to read more, though... On the one hand, I feel kind of like Screech and Zach when they eavesdropped on Kelly's slumber party to figure out who she was going to ask to the dance. It's like being let in on a whole different world, kind of fascinating, totally weird. On the other hand, I feel like Mel Gibson in What Women Want - suddenly granted access to the insane mind and world of women and faced with a whole bunch of information which, frankly, I'd rather leave shrouded in the mystique of the fairer sex.

Horsey Face B

Personally, I think H Swank is the #1 Horse face out there, but this site would argue otherwise. First of all, make sure you have the volume up when you load the page. Then enjoy 14 pages of simple comedic genius.

www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/

Are these people for real?

I sometimes wonder if these writers are completely clueless, not paying attention or just bored at work and trying to spice things up. Really, though, read your article before submitting it to your editor, who, in theory, should read it too.

Recent bests include:
Lead paragraph about a local columnist who died during open heart surgery quotes a friend: "He had a great heart."

Or, after a 15 year old surfer lost his arm in a boat accident, his father is quoted as saying, "Losing an arm, that's a difficult thing for a 15 year old to grasp."

Today's winner, an article about an 80 meter race (with video) where competitors are required to wear 3-inch heels:

"Former Australian sprinter Melinda Gainsford-Taylor inspected the athletes and ensured they were wearing the mandatory three-inch heels.

"I don't think I've experienced such energy since my racing days," Australia's Age reported her as saying.

"All the girls were pumped," she told Australian media.

Headline of the Day

"Policing Porn on Airlines?"

Yup, that's what I came across on my 2:45 pm perusal of CNN.com (as clearly distinguished from my 2:30 pm perusal of CNN.com).

First off, is that really what qualifies as a headline these days? A wide open, possibly rhetorical statement relying on the strength of the word PORN to draw in viewers. OK, OK, point taken, it worked as I was quick to click on this one.

The video it fires up is of Mike Galanos, an absurd caricature of the 24 hour news cycle anchor man. Righteously indignant, sleeves rolled up, gyrating in his chair at the mere thought of the outrage he may suffer, he stares into the camera, gripping his pen-as-prop and preaches:

"Filter out the CRAP, I don't want my son sitting next to a PERVERT who's watching porn."

"I'm all for people surfing the "net," just put a filter up to keep out the garbage."

"Let's get some calls in, Jan in California, Jan, isn't this ridiculous?"

Hey, Galanos, you closet porn fiend, get a life. We all agree that we don't want some dude watching Max Hardcore in 21E when we're in 21F, but quit pretending to be a news man, quit telling your guests their opinion and for the love of Melanoma, lay off the tanning bed.

A quick Google of the "net" with no "filter" brings up some awesome results for Galanos the porn fiend, including a petition to get him kicked off CNN (with some good comments I might add). No one seems to like him and there are some stellar adjectives ("douchy" popped up more than once) to describe his obnoxious delivery and Conservative/Moral Values bent.

Bottom line, I would have been able to stand him and might even respect his work a little if he'd just gotten Samuel L Jackson on there: "We've got to get this MUTHAFUCKIN' PORN off this MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE!"

Road Trip

It would be irresponsible not to mention the extended QLE vacation, so first, my apologies Deeks, I know you've missed us.

But, you have to figure it was only a matter of time before we wrote something about gas prices. I mean yes, I understand that on a global scale, we are still getting some relatively cheap fuel - but that doesn't make it any easier to come to grips with it! I remember driving 20 minutes each way simply to find gas for under $1.00 - and this wasn't THAT long ago!

I digress, the point here is not to get political or tell more sob stories about high gas prices, but rather to mourn the eventual passing of an American rite of passage: the pointless road trip. Driving hundreds or thousands or miles in vehicles with less than stellar fuel economy - mostly with the point of just doing it!

One college spring break we drove about 3,000 miles on a bumbling odyssey that saw us having freak outs in Reno, almost freezing to death on the Wyoming plains, getting hopelessly lost in Arches and breaking down twice. It was the best...

So what brings all this up? Check out these yahoos from Utah who decided to set the unofficial world record on the fastest to drive to all lower 48 states. Despite being a little goofy (see: use of a Scion, quoting "On The Road" - a bit obvious don't you think - and the pure insanity of spending 106 hours in a car) you've got to respect the idea and just getting out there. Life's a journey, right?

UPDATE: Gotten some good road trip stories. Add yours in the comments section! Here's one from Deeks.

One random Wednesday night around 9-10 pm, my roommates in college were being lame and said they were not going to go out during the upcoming w/e. I asked what it would take to get them to change their minds ... they said drive to Vegas and bring us back a few of the famous 99-cent foot long hot dogs from the "slots-of-fun" casino. So ... I did. 7 hours later I was back in LA with hot dogs for each of them. Best road trip of my life. Oh by the way ... they still wouldn't go out that week-end ... NERDS!!!

Dancing Animals vs. Dancing People Dressed as Animals

Which do you prefer. The dancing seal or the dancing mascots?

Ok, so that was pretty impressive, but what about this footage below. Given the choice, I think I'd be the shark. I like his style.

Do you Hulu?

The purveyor of all things relevant and cool, GQ pointed this one out a couple months ago: www.hulu.com. This site is fantastic - they are currently in a private beta, only in the US and you have to be "invited" to sign up, like Gmail in the "early days."

Put in your email, and they will let you know when you can get in (took about 1 week for me). You will have access to an impressive amount of online content including TV shows (NBC after they drop-kicked iTunes), movies, clips, etc. And, it's all free with a limited number of 30 second ads from a variety of sponsors.

Personally, I am afraid of DVR (being trapped in my basement, a slave to my own obsessive media consumption), and I refuse to be someone who plans their lives around TV shows, so a chance to get the media I want when and where I want it is pretty exciting. Plus, never being limited to Marriott's hotel cable again? Priceless.

What Would This Flavor Be Called?

Earlier this month Reebok released Kool-Aid scented shoes. That's right, sneakers that smell like Blue Berry Yum Yum, Rock-a-Dile Red and Solar Strawberry Star Fruit.

When this link was sent to me, I didn't really know what to think? Is this bizarre, outlandish, irrelevant, or sheer cross-promoting genius? We really won't know until I speak with our resident shoe expert Aron Glatzer on the particulars of this release.

What we will know is that after a day of walking Upper Haight and scavergering through throwback haberdashery at Wasteland, the mustachioed quasi-hipster wearing these shoes will have their sweaty feet accented with a hint of melon or berries.

As a beverage, Kool-Aid was awesome when we were five years old and got revved up on sugar instead of Reb Bull Blasters and adderal. It was also great in middle school when we sucked down packets of sugar on the bus ride home. But, imbibing or even purchasing Kool-Aid at this age is an absolute crime. Not even for novelty reasons, because thats just to obvious.

You've heard the bit from ubiquitous Dane Cook where be goes on and on and on about the Kool-Aid punch bowl smashing through walls with kids drinking fruity blood from its straws. Its some of Cook's funniest material within a catalogue of overt arrogance, crass opinions and loose generalizations. Regardless, HERE is an animated video of "Not So Kool-Aid" that was made to go along w/ the routine. Really quite funny.

A blog about blogs - Updated

Updated: OK, so it seems that it would be a disservice for us to not pass on Stuff White People Like. This is just about the funniest thing out there right now and is almost literally an overnight sensation. Little introduction is needed, but dive in and enjoy. Also if you want more information, check out the NPR and LA Times stories on the blog.

Also - this is great stuff. Turns out Barack Obama is a Blazers fan.

To kick of the second installment of the blog about blogs, I have to go to the well and shout out for the blog of another Zers big man (and former Pac 10 power) Channing Frye. Some classic stuff in here include betting on the Super Bowl and losing, then losing a double whammy on who would cut their hair first, him or Oden. He now has short hair again, and has to walk Oden's dog, Charles Barkely McLovin "his little rat dog."

The Kitsune Noir, tagged as Eat. Drink. Design., claims to be a blog about design. Sure enough, there is some great design, but it also encompasses movies, music, art, apparel, etc. Check it out regularly and know about the cool shit first. Oh, and in case you're wondering, according to Wikipedia, Kitsune is the Japanese word for fox, so take that for what it's worth. Great blog, though, enjoy.

Rounding out the week is the Indexed Blog. A fun little time waster with a great explanation, in the usual blog language (slightly melodramatic and self-conscious, but funny nonetheless): "This site is a little side project that lets me make fun of some things and sense of others." If you're not sure what to make of it, think back to the regression graphs of the rap life.

On a side note, I got the Indexed Blog from LA's del.icio.us. If you aren't on board with this yet, get on it. Think of it as a book marks bar saved on the internet that you can share with others. In case the QLE doesn't waste enough of your time, this is a quick way to flush some more minutes down the drain. I have just gotten started, but you can check it out at http://del.icio.us/bmoneyqle.

Music Videos

According to the Buggles, video killed the radio star, but I blame Jonathan Murray and Mary-Ellis Bunum for killing the video star. In less than one generation, we have seen the meteoric rise and fall of the music video. The ignominious end hastened by the likes of Puck, Pedro, and recently, a long line of undereducated, over served frat dicks, flaming homosexuals and girls with a severe shortage of self respect and strong moral foundation.

Most QLE readers remember (or almost remember) the beginning of the music video era:


And for the next twenty years or so, the music video became the ultimate marketing vehicle. Disturbing, funny, entertaining, or a downright work of art, the music video allowed for a whole new interpretation and experience of the music you loved.


As MTV digressed into programming so shitty you can't even watch it stoned, videos were pushed over to MTV2, and eventually to a small suite of channels that comes with the Digital Deluxe Silver Subscriber Package, hidden in the upper 400s. However, the video has persevered, with the best of the best becoming viral internet phenomenons.


I will include a couple more of my favorites below, but I would like to create a forum in the comments section of this post to try and create a list of the best music videos of all time. Find them on youtube, post them, and let's see what we can put together. Fight back, bring back the music video!








Here are links to more as I remember them:
Pretty sure I am STILL in love with both of these women from this video.

A scary one...

Videos that are short movies

I remember being SHOCKED by the lyrics of this one

So Sick

More Biggie

Something a little newer

Thom Yorke Gets Hyphy

Bay Area Producer/DJ Amp Live from the duo Zion I is a huge Radiohead Fan. Who isn't? When I like a new album, I play it in my car. When DJs dig albums, they remix and mash 'em. So, Amp Live goes out, gets some yay area hiphoppers to guest on the tracks, makes a great album and drops it in cyberspace for free distribution. Boom. Rainydayz Remixes

The only catch: you had to have bought the Radiohead In Rainbows album from the band's website within the first few days of release. Everything's good, right? He's in line w/ Radioheads ideology of supporting the music and not the beauracracy.

The Mixtape is posted, everyone loves it, rave reviews everywhere. Music fans are stoked, Amp Live gets good pub, starts playing the interpretations at his shows. People are, well, AMPED.

But, hold on!

Amp neglected to contact Radiohead and their publicist sends a cease and desist. So, Fuck! Nobody gets around to downloading the album, but there is still hope as the band agrees to give it a listen.

Low and behold, they like it, like everyone else, and realize he's not trying to profit off the sales.

It ends up that the whole issue stemmed from a likeness of Yorke being used on Amp's website and thats, evidently a big no-no.

But, alas, the album is now up for grabs, ITS FREE, and its probably your only chance to get tracks of Too Short, Del and Chali2na rapping w/ a bass and a snare over a Radiohead song.

Don't loose your head....

A blog about blogs

There are a ton of great blogs out there. There are approximately 1,000 times as many bad blogs, and maybe double that are horrible. Most of the worst are just plain boring. Sometimes you come across blogs that make you want to blog, or at least bookmark them. Well, we are going to start keeping track. Check back if you need to kill 15 minutes before you sneak out for the weekend!

Some though are pleasently surprising: such as Greg Oden's blog. Although it's kind of old news, you develop an ongoing interest, plus you never know when he is going to drop a pearl like: "My new family member. His name is Charles Barkley McLovin... I love him already. All he does is cuddle and sleep and he is quiet. I just wish he would stop eating grass." That's gold, solid gold.

Carl Zimmer is just a nerd. He has a blog where he writes about nerdy stuff and the nerdy things he thinks about. One of his topics was science tattoos - which apparently was such a hot topic that he started a Flikr photo sharing album to catalog them. Honestly, this is fascinating. If you, like we at the QLE, loathe unoriginal tattoos, then this is right up your alley. I am not kidding, there is some amazing stuff on there, so get on and check it out. Some of the reasons behind the tattoos are great as well. Referring to an ankle to thigh DNA sequence, Kristin says, "It codes for a snippet of an exon from the sonic the hedgehog gene."

How about this one, the TSA has a blog, called the Evolution of Security. As if the 15-150 minutes you spent waiting at airport security wasn't miserable enough, they want you to log on to to their site and read a little more about the lazy, surly people that make your work travel just that much less comfortable (oh, and the skies safer, right)? And to justify their 3-1-1 liquids plan (day late and a dollar short, as usual) they decide to just terrify you a little with their catchy tag line: "Terrorists Evolve. Threats Evolve. Security Must Stay Ahead. You Play A Part."

The Electronic Gladiator

Jay Maynard is the self-dubbed Tron Guy.

Jay Maynard is in the running as the Worlds Biggest Dork.

Jay Maynard is 100% Awesome!

In case you missed his rise to internet stardom during the last 3 years, here is what you need to know: A computer programmer with portly physique and no shame what-so-ever, Maynard pieced together a skintight outfit with electroluminiscent embedded lighting inspired by the 1982 Disney Sci-Fi movie Tron. Tron , as you may remember, explores the world inside a computer! Then, he put up a website to chronicle the trials and tribulations of the monumental undertaking of building the Tron suit (among other suits... be sure to surf around, you won't be sorry you did).

EL Lighting? Life in a computer? Human after all? Sounding familiar? The question begs to be answered, did Daft Punk get their inspiration on their last tour from Tron Guy?

Definately check out the video of Maynard getting his 15 mins of Fame on Kimmel.

Two Great Music Sites

iTunes sucks. Plain and simple - they don't have everything you want, they charge too much and once you pay for it, you still don't own your music. Apple controls the sharing of your music through DRM. And they keep making better iPods that force me to buy a new one every time Macworld comes around (and they make them so small Meeps constantly loses them...). The way I see it, you're paying your dues to Jobs already - so stop paying for music from iTunes!

I came across the website RCRDLBL.com via JB a while back and have been downloading the hottest tracks around, completely free. Oh and it's legal (weird). They have a good explanation here of how it works - a similar model to TV - the advertisers and sponsors pay for the content, you get the entertainment. In addition to free music there is a ton of other great stuff, so be sure to check it out.

Also - if you want great music content - interviews, articles, recommendations, etc., check out Stay Thirsty Media. A completely content-driven site with no pop-ups banner ads or anything to distract you from pure music dork-out.