QLE Etiquette Tip of The Day

Everybody has those little meltdowns. You get into an argument with someone, usually in a public place and neither side sees eye to eye. For example, this morning, I arrived at my parking spot to find all the spaces were taken. Our parking is located in a trendy part of town and, this being Portland, we share our lot with a coffee shop. I regularly find my parking spot occupied by some caffeine junkie, feening for their morning jolt, who apparently was too bleary eyed to read the "Reserved Parking" sign. On numerous occasions I have complained to the coffee shop owner who usually looks at me, shrugs and gives me the equivalent of "Not my problem, bub."

This morning (Monday) I arrived to find that, once again, someone had parked in my spot. So, I parked on the coffee shop's side of the lot to head into work and investigate if the offender was from our building or not. About one block away from the lot, someone screams HEY and runs up behind me. I turn around, and there is the coffee shop owner in attack mode. Finger in my face she informs me that if I don't move my car she's going to tow me. On my first try I explain the situation - hey, the parking lot is often a problem, I am heading over to figure this out. She continues with inarticulate threats. Suddenly there are bystanders - someone walking up the sidewalk, another guy from the office next door - both wide eyed at the insane small business owner's display.

Ultimately, I make the right choice, move my car and avoid the verbal melee that was sure to ensue (Oh really? You really need that extra parking spot for the one customer per hour you service? Oh, and your paninis suck! A panini is grilled ciabatta, NOT wonder bread, loser!). We all have these little fights, and we all picture how they could go (both the right and the wrong way).

I did it right, the Cuban [wow, scratch my earlier Brazillian comment, so much for the QLE's journalistic integrity] Taekwondo guy did it wrong when he roundhoused the referee (and the coffee shop owner is lucky I'm not this flexible, attacking from behind like that!).