Small Fight of the Day

Although I'm a bit concerned about what it may say about my sanity if this becomes a regular feature on the blog, I just can't help myself.

Fall is a special time of year. New cars, new TV shows, fun new consumer electronics and, everyone's favorite, new phone books???

That's right, for the past week, various sources have been foisting their antiquated ad laden giant pain in the ass phone books on me. Yellow Book, Verizon, Qwest, all equally useless, all dumping approximately 25 lbs of useless "books" on my doorstep, in my front lawn or in my driveway. Seriously, have you heard of a smart phone? Goog-text? Goog-411? Yahoo Yellow Pages? All are more efficient, right at my finger tips and do not require sifting 5 inch thick tomes to find out the number for Papa Johns so I can order the Canadian Bacon/Pineappe/American Bacon Pizza.

Last week, the smashed up, no window all white panel van slowed in front of my house, and the sliding door came open. Drive by? Child abduction? No, just a dude throwing a big pile of books/trash on to my front lawn. Qwest. 3 days later, I'm backing out of the driveway, and the same white van with the same dudes throw a bundle onto the driveway (forcing me to get out and move them before backing out). Verizon. This is getting ridiculous.

So I'm sitting at my desk this afternoon, working hard, when an extrodinarily sweaty woman and her daughter (I'm assuming) walk into the office and, in a cheery and singsong (if breathless from the couple flights of stairs) voice:

Sweaty Woman: "Helloooo! We have your new phooonnne booooks!"

Me: "No thanks."

SW: "What?"

Me: "Don't need them, I'll just recycle them, so why don't you keep them and you can make sure they get to a deserving phonebook customer who might use them."

SW: [long uncomfortable pause, looks at daughter, both stare at me as if to say: "Um, hello, we're offering you a lifetime supply of free steak here, and you're saying no thank you? What are you crazy, these are PHONE BOOKS."]

Me: "Sorry."

SW: "FINE."

Me: "Bye!"