The Quintessential Life Experience: Funny?

I love internet language and I hate filling up my SUV. Happy Friday.

Conversations Overheard in Public

"And that's the good thing about corn." Walking around Eugene on 10/11.
"It's my husband.... But I don't want to sit by him." Woman at Ducks game referring to Bruin fan - 10/11/08
"The thing is, Sean, is, well, Sean, that really is not the best way to stack the hummus." Overheard from Manager to employee at Trader Joes in Marin County, 10/1
"Whatever Bob Villa..If your so fucking smart, then you can work on the home improvement yourself!!*&!%!" Overheard at Cole Hardware on Polk, 10/2 as told from Wife to Husband
CLASSIC - "Crush Pizza, Not Dudes." As told to a group in Munich at a Pizza stand by a SoCal traveller after a night out at what turned out to be a slightly homo-erotic euro dance club. 6/8/03
"Everyone wears leather to a Depeche Mode concert." (I refuse to argue that statement) Overheard at the bank 9/24/8
"Hey Cowboy, why don't you get off your high horse and down to reality!" Overheard outside of apartment 9/22/8 8:25 AM
Lady # 1 "Oh gross, I've had something green stuck in my teeth since lunch, do you have any floss?" Lady # 2 "Sorry sister, that's why you have to remember to wear earrings everyday." - Overheard in a Portland Women's Restroom.
"Kill You?!?!!? Kill You?!?!? I don't want to kill you, honey. You're my little chick pea. I love you honey. Kill you?!?!?!" Overheard said from male to female in obvious disasterous relationship. Muir Woods National Park, 3/30/8 4:53 PM
"I'm a kitty cat...MEOW..." Overheard outside of 24 Hour Fitness, Castro, SF 4/1/8 6:45PM
"You remind me of that pen that always inks on my khakis." Overheard outside North Star bar, SF. 3/21/8 11:30PM
"Do want some tomatoes? How about a carrot?" Overheard outside Grant and Green, SF. Question posed to 20's Male from a bum . 2/29/8 12:05AM
"What if this were like Cloverfield, it'd be like AHHHHHHHH." Overheard outside Arj Barker comedy show at Punchline, SF, CA 2/15/08
"No one cares about my life, what I'm doing, or how I'm positive!" Overheard 5:45PM 2/16/08 Guy talking on cell phone on park bench
"I was so fucking wasted last night, man." Overheard 11:34 PM Washington Square Park, man in his 40's 2/17/08
"You know I like gum!" Overheard at 1:35PM outside Upper Playground, SF 2/17/08
"I just can't handle some big dude hitting my fiancee in the head!" Overheard at MJCC Indoor Soccer bubble on 2/4/08
"Oh yeah, all of that. All of that. My Mom will get us all of that." "Even sausage?" "Well, I don't know about sausage..." Two dude bros in Fred Meyer 2/5/08 6:30 pm
"What Band is This?" This is Tom Petty. "Who? Never heard of them. But, I love Tom Petty. They are now my favorite Band!" Overhead - Feb 3rd, Halftime of Super Bowl 27 year old man learning about Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
OK Honey, we aren't playing the pushing game. Did Mommy say we aren't playing the pushing game? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP PUSHING ME MADISON. Overheard - Mother to 3 year old at Fred Meyer Burlingame 1/29/08 5:25 PM
"You don't know what a Chupacabra is?!?!?!?!!" Overheard at Range. SF, CA 1/27 8:46 PM
"The South Carolina Primary is going to be sooooo magical." Chatterbox Tavern, Indianapolis, IN. 1/22/2008 9:45pm
"I wonder if they know who I really am..?" Overheard 2:05 PM Corner of Stockton & Union SF,CA
"I am NOT going to a Jon, Bon, Jovi concert..." Overheard in Safeway checkout line. Thurs, Jan 24th 2:36 PM Napa, CA
"So far the best thing about being THIS pregnant is resting coffee on myself." - Overheard 8:10am, 1/23 Caffe Roma, San Francisco
"Dude! Fuck.... Man." Overheard 1/1/08 12:41 am

The Quintessential Life Experience

Friday, June 6, 2008

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