Friday, January 25, 2008

Admit It. You Love Listening to R. Kelly

OK, I'll be the first one to say it and all of you can agree with me later: you secretly love every song by R. Kelly.

Its true.

Sometimes I'll turn on the Fiesta (remix) when I get ready for the work day. Sometimes I think Thoia Thoing is the right song to get amped for filling out an expense report.  And sometimes I'll be sure to put Feelin' On Yo Booty on my iTunes "hook up" mix. Seriously.

Here's a quick test. Click on the word song and try and not remember how awesome this track was. Remember when you were on the Beta House dance floor at 3AM grinding on that 18-year old blacked out Delta Gamma freshman? Flashback to awesome!

Yeah, you liked it and you're thinking to yourself, "where are those old Cd's ?" And who was that girl?!?!?!?!

Lets take a look at some of R's best lyrics.
Arguably the best line ever come from an R&B track is from the song Sex in the Kitchen: "Girl I'm ready to toss your salad. While making love girl I'll be feastin' you."
Sheer lyrical genius. 
 
From the track Pussy comes probably his best intro ever: "The Power of the P-U-S-S-Y. That why every MuthaFucker in the world dress fly."
That's R. Keepin' it real.

From the totally under appreciated song The Zoo: "I'm a lion. In this jungle I'm a King. Girl, I got you so wet - It's like a rain forest. Like Jurassic Park, except I'm your sex-a-saurus."
That's right, sex-a-saurus

What's not to love about that.

You still don't buy that he puts the R. in R&B talk? Well get on the bandwagon while there is still some space. R. Kelly has sold more than 35 millions albums in the U.S. and more than 50 million albums worldwide. Talk about The Worlds Greatest.

Best song ever from a Batman movie? If you said Kiss From a Rose by Seal then first of all your wrong. Second of all, your probably gay. The correct answer is, of course, Gotham City from the greatest Batman installment of all time, Batman and Robin. City of justice, city of love, city of peace for everyone above, indeed. 

R. is simply a hit making, body bumping, ignition starting, bumpin' 'n grindin' musical machine. He's an unstoppable force that is the past, present and future of  bedrooms, dance floors and Cadillacs everywhere. 
 
So, go dig out those CD's from the back of your closet and get ready for a return to 12 Play. 


4 comments:

Rob said...

Admit it? I'll shout it from the moutain tops! TP-2.com goes down as one of my favorite R&B albums of all time. Don't miss out on his early work with Public Announcement. "Dedicated" was the best ballad of our middle-school years.

Jenna said...

this is my favorite post of all! just sent it on to my BFF who happens to be a DG. my friends and i used to listen to 'the worlds greatest' on the chair lift at meadows - those were the best runs ever.

Courtney said...

That R Kelly really knows what he is doing. He is like the Dr. Phil or perhaps even the Fabio of the R&B world. He really know how to get into a girl's heart(?)with all of those whispers of sweet nothings and analogies of inanimate objects. When he says those three little words, well I guess six, that every girl wants to hear then she really knows this one is forever. "you remind me of my jeep".

white chocolate said...

True. Relevant. hilarious. BUT the culmination of the RnB-pee-maestro however is Trapped In The Closet: The Hip Hopera (and yeah thats a hiphop mashup up with opera): a 22 part series on DVD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_Closet

Take it all in.