Monday, September 29, 2008

A Weird Sighting in San Francisco

The 25th year Anniversary of The Folsom Street Fair was not the weirdest thing I witnessed yesterday in San Francisco.

Group flogging and whipping sessions at the fair were weird, but not weirdest.

Orgy and massage oil wrestling ring. Quite weird, but not the weirdest.

The guy getting head from the girl with the Captain America fighting Ironman tattooed on her back- both totally naked while being videoed by the Japanese tourist in studded g-string who was being pulled along by a dog collar chain held by his two foot taller German girlfriend dressed in full red latex body paint.

Pretty bizarre, but not the winner.

That was all within the first and only five minutes I was at the Street Fair.

Next Stop. Vertigo bar for an afternoon birthday party house/trance/breaks music event for some guy I have never met.

Weird that there were black lights and neon posters set up for a party during the day and there was sage burning everywhere. Strange, but not the apex of weird yesterday.

Signing Thai karaoke at the restaurant next door in a foreign language and getting a round of applause after picking what evidently was the song that everyone wanted to hear. Pretty normal, compared to the what happened next.

At that point it was 700PM and time to go home and get life together. I traversed back to North Beach and was on my block when I witnessed one of the more strange things I've ever seen. There was this bum clad in a blue plaid flannel shirt, short Prefontaine shorts, a Popeye hat and barefoot. He was bent over an unassuming green sidewalk bush. You know, one of those little shrubs that are everywhere that just seem to take up the pathway space where you always have to stand behind and wait for the lady with the stroller to pass by.

So this degenerate, safe to say bum, was in another dimension, universe, some altered state of Claritin-D byproduct Crystal Meth or just was the hungriest muther-f'er in town. He was face down, mouth open chopping at said shrub like it was the last consumable on earth. This man was straight up eating one of the cities bush's in public. Munch, Munch, Munch.

Thats weird. But not as strange as the fact that nobody else seemed to think this was abnormal or worthly enough of a second glance. People, couples, families would walk by, take a look and move on. I watched this goatman for about 5 mins from a half block away and during that spell or time, not a soul stopped to look at this act of craziness.

Who are the people that live in this city and are so desensitized that a man eating a bush like a goat, is just an everyday occurance?!?!?!


B Money said...

Monch Monch Monch

Rob G said...

I saw a guy going for a jog the other day w/ absolutely zero elbow bend ... while not as weird as your bush moncher - it was weird ... and funny.