Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Rules of Being a Man #79

There is a big difference between a MANcation and a VAcation and it's a difference you need to understand.

For a good portion of your life, chances are you have been taking Mancations. Road trips to football games, 8 people in hotel rooms, spring break trips, etc. By and large these trips have been about the dudes, the bros, cheap food, light beer and bad smells. Often poorly planned and hard to recover from, Mancations are often characterized by spontanaeity, someone going to jail, and generally bad behavior.
You will often hear trips featuring mostly sausage as "guys weekends." Guys weekends are lame. They are for people who have poker nights, "guys night out" and have relinquished control over their social calendar to the dominant female in the household. There is a big difference between guys weekend: "Sorry guys, I can't go to [insert strip club name here] I have to go call the wife." And the Mancation: "Dude, can I borrow $20? I am going to buy those two random chicks drinks to give Nick a lap dance."

At some point, things started to change. This change is usually brought about by increased earning power and the addition of a female to your life. The mancation starts to take a back seat to your other priorities. You may even get an email like this from one of your Mancation travel buddies:
"Hey guys, I hate to say, I'm out for this year's trip to Costa Rica. I've got to take a vacation with the girlfriend before she'll let me head out with you guys again. But we're going to a totally awesome all-inclusive spot in Mexico together!"
Sad day, right? OK, well, not totally, there is something to be said for a vacation that features clean hotel rooms, "real food" (not eggs dropped in ramen cooked over a camp stove 2 meals a day), everyone (or every couple) with their own sleeping arrangements, and a beautiful woman to share the whole trip with.

It's important to have both in your life, and to know the difference between them. First of all, you don't want to be the Jack O' Lantern who brings a party pooper on an otherwise perfectly good Mancation. If you show up for the rager weekend and one guy (usually a repeat offender) shows up with his girlfriend, that is a serious Mancation faux pas. Another (real) email chain I received recently:

GUY 1: "Alright, the big concert is coming up in a couple months. We're planning on camping out, partying, BBQ-ing and rocking for 3 straight days.

WIFE: "Hey, I have an idea, maybe this year instead of camping there we can all get hotel rooms in the next town over. Comfortable beds, air conditioning, you know, get some good sleep each night!"

HUSBAND: "Nevermind my wife, she doesn't know what she's saying. Please know this will be dealt with when I get home tonight!"

By the same token, you don't want to be the dude who shows up to the Vacation with intentions to throw down mancation style. Examples of this include showing up for a perfectly respectable vacation with: unnessecarily bizzare facial hair, a suitcase devoted to liquor, too few changes of underwear, or an escort.

So be a man, know the difference and enjoy that spirit of youth while you've got it and plan yourself a mancation.


Loganius said...

I stopped reading after seeing the picture of us eating the Beta's pirate flag.

That was fucking awesome.

katrocket said...

Completely hilarious!

...and very true - I've taken notes.